Just in time for my entry for Wisdom Wednesday.
Glorietta National Bookstore, March 20, 2016 was the launched of Alex Gonzaga’s second book called “Dear Alex, we’re dating Tama, Mali?! Love Catherine”. When I was invited for the book launch, I didn’t had any second thoughts and I said I really need to go and my luck, It was on a Sunday – had no training or duty that day.
Alex is really down-to-earth, super bait niya, so funny pa and super dami kong wisdom nakuha sa kanya (Thank you sa mga tips mo and mga advices mo sa akin), I pray that she finds her prince charming talaga- yung deserve niya and he will STAY. Also you have the greatest fans (They super love you talaga) I could feel the love nila for you and they even made you a sash and crown, I am also a fan of yours too! You’ve made a difference, nakaka proud ka!
It was an opportunity for me to meet Alex and maybe get a dose of wisdom when it comes to millenial dating. Yes, I guess I am in the right age to actually talk about this and it is Normal (Hi! Mom and Dad).Kung alam niyo lang yung GUTS I had to get to write this down. Kasi PRIVATE talaga ako na tao.
Helpful tips coming from a guy’s perspective by Robi Domingo (Alex’s “Pards”) who also hosted the launch. He said, guys still opted for that Dalagang Filipina vibe na conservative.
I’ve read, Alex’s first book which is all about break ups ( I haven’t had my heart broken yet when it comes to relationships, but technically I had my own share of heartaches too- everybody does go through that stage- atleast natuto ako and narealize ko before it got worse, wala pa ako wisdom ng mga panahon na yun) and well, even though I can’t fully relate but she had points in her first book and I would admit I would highlight every piece of advice and wisdom – Ask my friends who borrowed the book. Pudpod ang yellow sharpie ko haha.
Dating is a tricky game for one I’m still trying to figure it out and testing the waters. I am the type of girl, who would just patiently wait for the right one but you can’t just only stay at one corner girl, you have to take actions for yourself- Ayoko maging matandang dalaga and nakakapagod na mag explain sa tao bakit single pa din ako hanggang ngayon (Feeling ko ikaw kung sino nagbabasa na ito gulat din, don’t worry marami kayong gulat, pero I’ve gone out naman and had experiences – yun lang baka hindi talaga ako ready and ang dami kong questions na parang things ain’t right nung mga time na yun). Sabi kasi ng friends ko ang taas daw ng standards ko and they would describe me “classy” kaya kung sino nirerecommend nila sa akin na mejo sinasabi grabe out of my league din. If kilala niyo ako personally, simple lang ako kasi (get to know me first) ako priority ko ngayon ay ma-iprove ako sa sarili ko. Okay sa akin mag start as FRIENDS, the dreaded “Friendzone, ate-ZONE, nanay-ZONE na yan HAHA “. Meron talagang tamang time para sa akin. Hopefully sana yung first ko last ko, ayoko din magsalita ng tapos , mahirap panindigan. In God’s timing talaga 🙂 
The most important wisdom coming from my mom is, “Love yourself and Focus on yourself first- Mag paganda ka! Obligasyon maging maganda” because before getting into a relationship you should be “whole/complete” sounds cliché and once you’ve figured it out you will attract the right person and you would know if its the right kind of love (Yan mga sinasabi ko sa mga friends ko na takot sa commitment). My mom would quote “Ang lalaki ngayon ay WISE!”
But then I realized when I was younger, everything was just intense and it is the idea of having “companionship” lang, SORRY! . I would prefer to enter a committed relationship once I am settled. Like what my mom would say, “Kung settled ka, may napatunayan ka, kahit iwan ka ng lalaki, wala ka kawalan and hindi ka kawawa “. YES, I listen to my mom and parents are always RIGHT guys. (Peg ko si Toni Gonzaga kasi). Super open ako sa parents ko pero alam ko pa naman di pa sila that ready i-let go ako. 25 years old daw sabi ni mama makakahanap ng true love (okay?)
Atleast if mag invest ka ng emotional self mo, hindi ka super kawawa in the end. Masasaktan ka, iiyak mo lang and move on girl – May wisdom ka na kasi and you will have more patience to understand since relationships is a 2-way street at si FOREVER, pinagtratrabahuan.
Ito, Huwag na huwag niyo isuko ang bataan basta basta, As much as possible, alam ko mahirap siya panindigan “The best gift to give your husband, is your virginity” sabi ng nanay ko. And masarap to do things intimate with someone na MAHAL mo hindi sa tao na kung sino lang. Parang kasi binababa mo sarili mo girl.
Well reading Alex’s book gave a wide perspective when it comes to dating and her theories and wisdom are yes, applicable to the millennial dating but still the traditional values are still important. Everything now is an INSTANT even relationships, but taking things slow and sure may lead to a long and committed relationship for as long may love. Ika nga dapat may PUNDASYON/FOUNDATION.
If I were you guys, buy the book, it is just p195! It would also be a nice gift to your friend’s who going on the same path or been rusty on the dating scene. A gift to your own self para magka wisdom ka and ma pin-point mo mga mistakes mo, may parts na may GUY TIPS si Alex for the Male readers – for all siya. She kiddingly joke pag na hurt ka balik ka sa Book 1 at pag okay ka na, balik ka sa Book 2 HAHA. These are the wisdoms I got from Alex’s book that is kinda personal to me and I’ll be inserting my personal advices also, I won’t be covering everything guys – Buy the book! Meron din DO’s and DON’TS when it comes to dating din #AlexAdvice
- “Rejection is Protection”.
- It’s ironic for me kasi, kung sino ang gusto ko, ayaw sa akin. Kung sino naman may gusto sa akin di ko naman feel- pero give chance naman and kilalanin mo yung tao. TIP: Dapat kasi CLEAR ang intentions niya in the first place . Nag assume ka na may something pero hindi consistent, something happened kasi maybe it’s not meant to be in the first place. In short,”Kung para sayo, para sayo”.
Kung sa simula may something wrong talaga, hindi talaga *SORRY*, pero yung iba SWERTE.
- “Bilang babae, huwag na huwag mong ipakita at iparamdam sa lalake na patay na patay ka sa kanya”– Ang lalake kasi hunters sila and maging easy to get ka and hindi siya mag e-effort sa dates niyo. Mali ko din ito, and it is true.
- “Pwede ka naman gumawa ng first move sa guy. Just don’t make the first move physically. It would give him the wrong impression of what you want.” Well if Pinoy yung guy, hayaan mo siya kasi ang pinoy “conservative” daw, pag talagang gusto ka ni guy talagang mahihirapan siya i-confront ka niya kaya give it time. Kung talagang gusto kaniya he will PURSUE
Straight forward ang foreigner mukhang pwede pero still meet half-way hindi naman puro si girl lagi diba.
- This one, “May mga babae na pa 21st century at okay lang sa kanila na mag meet sa date place, ok slang, pero sana andu’n naman ‘yung offer ni guy na sunduin ka.
Ito share ko personal ito, If the guy really likes you talaga, IHAHATID KANIYA PAUWI NO MATTER WHAT. Rule ng DAD ko, “Ang babae umuuwi before 12 midnight, and Krizia, may bahay ka umuwi ka sa bahay natin” – CINDERALLA ako.
- Treasure theory, ang babae should be treated as a gem talaga. May shinare si Alex, na ang lalaki hunter sila, For example may nakita siyang ruby, okay why not try natin pero ang gusto talaga ni guy si Black diamond. Iiwan ka talag niya. Dapat pala ang pagkaintindi ko dapat, you should be ideally what the guy is looking for.
- “Walang true love sa club”. Makaka meet ka ng matanong lalake sa matinong lugar PERIOD. This is TRUE.
- Look for a guy, who loves you more than you love him kasi dapat naman talag eh sila ang magpapa-in love sa’yo at hindi the other way around.At yung lalake raw na magtratrato sayo na parang prinsesa.
- Don’t go to a hotel, resort at lalo na sa CONDO niya.
I don’t chill, because CHILL leads to CHILDREN HAHA. Kasi one things can lead from one thing to another. Paano kayo mag get to know each other talaga. Do things na pareho na may interest kayo. Sabi ni Alex sa book, huwag ka masyado mag research sa date ninyo kasi parang binababa mo standards mo. Have the effort to know his interest din and ofcourse if it works, it will just happen, let it flow lang J May tip, si Alex pwede mag group dates muna to see if he is interested sayo then kayo na lumabas na dalawa. Ito personal, pa ang friends mo may na pin point na may something wrong – TRUST YOUR FRIENDS, yung REAL FRIENDS mo talaga ah. RULES OF FEMINISM na lalo.
- Don’t look for someone who is persistent, look for someone who is consistent. Totoo, ito. Super important! Huwag kasi paasa pareho.
- “Girl, ang dating eh di’ karera, di pabilisan ito kundi patagalan, hinay-hinay ka lang”.
- Cake theory, hindi kasi binibigay mo sarili mo ng buong buo sa guy agad agad, dapat slice clice lang muna. Kailangan kasi i-earn ka niya. Isama mo rin si expectorant jan, masaskaatan ka lang girl.
- Last, about sa PAIN #Hugot
Sa pain daw doon tayo mas kinakausap ni Lord, kinukuha niya attention natin- Joyce Meyer
Pain is not natural, because if there is pain, that means something has to change- Iyanla Vanzant
